SUCK-O-METER: 7

This band played live once for the 1986 Senior Talent Show. Two songs were played, "Broken Septic Tanks" and "Punk Thing", both by me. Edgar and Garcia were fired because they couldn't play very well and I wanted a tight band. We were a tight punk rock band and the songs were good (IMHO) but we sucked as musicians in all ways.

SUCK-O-METER: 7

This band was formed specifically for the 1986 Senior Talent Show. Budzco quit because of conflict with Cummings. Dudley was brought in because she could sing and Harmon could not. Three songs were played both nights of the show, "Paranoid" by Black Sabbath (vocals by me), "Submission" by The Sex Pistols (vocals by Harmon backed by me) and "Sunday Bloody Sunday" by U2 (vocals by Harmon and Dudley).

In summary, metalheads with no ability trying to play U2. Jen Dudley was good though.

Band Number: 3

SUCK-O-METER: 10

Subpar metalheads that could never pull off metal. Thank god we never played live and embarrassed ourselves.

Band Number: 4

SUCK-O-METER: 10

My last foray into speed metal. We barely rehearsed once and never got together again. Thank god this one died when it did.

Discography: two live tapes
Bad Trip (Live at CEHS 4/13/87)
kevor records 004 (CD)

SUCK-O-METER: 4

This band was your typical cheesy high school cover band, but it was a tight cheesy high school cover band ("Good Lovin'" and "Louie, Louie" anyone?). Both originals and covers were played, with Andy writing great classic rock-style songs, Tina writing the lovely ballad "The Final Hello" and me contributing bizarre punk/metal/blues hybrids. The band played one concert, one dance, and a Fine Arts Night, and then fell apart when Tina and I graduated.

One of the good things about the band was its work ethic. We practiced religiously and actually spent time arranging songs. I give us a 4 just because we were high schoolers pulling one of our first bands together and our song choices were cheesy.

Discography: none

Band Number: 6

SUCK-O-METER: 10

After the Relapses, my friend Jeremy "Woody" Woodward convinced me to play in a band with him for the summer of 1987, which came to naught because we had no place to practice (parents...). We did jam once. We had no real equipment or a place to practice so we were a band in name only. This started my obsessive/compulsive need to be in a band every summer while I was home from school. It was sort of like migratory birds coming home to roost after a long winter's flight and it took a long time to break the habit.

The band is mentioned because it is slightly related to The Baked Potatoes MK I & II.

Discography:
Rock-Off 1988: The Winners
Reindeer Records 8CD04 (cassette)

SUCK-O-METER: 6

Woody had been picked to help Andy and Seth keep The Relapses going, which became The Baked Potatoes. The band recruited guitarist Rob Julavits to play bass. Their Rock-Off performance won them a spot on the Rock Off album of 1988. They have two tracks on the Rock-Off 1988: The Winners album, "Laughter" and "Beyer's Field" by Andy.

The band was tight when it needed to be but Julavits was a terrible musician and they were loose as a band. This was offset by good original songwriting, Andy's voice, and Seth's drums. I played once as a sub for Rob Julavits for a Christmas party at Seth's father's workplace which is why the band gets a mention.

Discography: none

Band Number: 7

There will be quiz on the above charts later. If you fail, you must buy my CDs.

SUCK-O-METER: 8

I attended Saint Joseph's College after graduating from Cape Elizabeth High School in 1987 and hooked up with this band. The charts above are completely over the top, but sometimes that's necessary. I was the only bass player on a 600 person campus. The band morphed into many different versions, lots of people came and went and the band ended when Benny and I quit in February.

TPV was a cheesy cover band, but it was a horrible cheesy cover band. It was a band in denial. I insisted on thinking that I could sing, Ellery insisted that he could solo in key, Dana insisted he could actually play drums, and Chris insisted on ignoring the audience as if to hope they couldn't see him. Chris and I butted heads as I tried to control yet another band that didn't need to be controlled, merely put out of its misery.

However, some interesting things came from this. I wrote a bizarre sci-fi heavy metal tune with Ellery, and Dana contributed a lovely ballad which he sang called "Going Away". I actually destroyed the jam tape we made because I was embarrassed by my vocal performances and it brought back too many cringe-worthy moments for me.

Band Number: 8

SUCK-O-METER: 5

While attending St. Joseph's College in 1987, I hooked up with members of what became Total Perspective Vortex, including guitarist Ron Kew. ColdFinger was the band that resulted when Ron was booted from Total Perspective Vortex. Ron recruited real drummer Dennis Doyle and kicked TPV's butt at the Parent's Weekend Talent Show. I played with Ron in October during a very cold night (hence the band name) and joined up full time when I left The Phantom Strangers, but the band never went anywhere.

I give this band good marks for musicianship, but low marks for discipline seeing as how we only did one gig and only a few rehearsals. Vocals were a weak spot but not enough to derail this band had we wanted to play more.

Band Number:

The Baked Potatoes: 9

Mr. Soul: 14

Lee Atwater's Rhythm and Blues Outlaws/All-Stars: 15

SUCK-O-METER:

The Baked Potatoes: 5

I replaced Rob Julavits in the summer of 1988 to keep The Baked Potatoes going. The band played some weird gigs, opening for Rock-Off organizer Louis Philippe's band The Kinetic Kids at Fantasy Hall in Windham to locals, and doing our very first club gig at the world-famous Geno's opening for The Kopterz and wondering if we were going to get beaten up while we played. The Baked Potatoes was a band that sounded like teenagers. It had talent, a lot of attitude but it couldn't quite pull it off. The band was loose and under rehearsed. This band tried to stretch in too many directions and fell flat a number of times, mainly when I was singing lead, although our strength was playing Neil Young covers which brought about Mr. Soul.

The Baked Potatoes played for two summers before changing the name and direction of the band to keep the band from imploding:

Mr. Soul: 4

This was Seth's idea that Andy agreed to. During the summer of 1990, we reconvened as Mr. Soul, Portland's only Neil Young cover band (Band #14). We attempted to be professional, taking pictures and coming up with a promo package so we could get good paying gigs. I was in charge of promotion and learned the hard way that I am no good at it. We played Geno's a few times, and the Old Port Tavern. We were a bunch of kids trying to look professional and doing a poor job of it and we got hosed as a result.

There's a saying of going to the well too many times and this band exemplified it. We were in no mood to deal with each other but were following that bizarre instinct of having to form a summer band. We were tighter and actually rehearsed and there were some cool moments most notably our performance of 'Down by the River' at Geno's that showed some amazing potential for us. Nevertheless, this one brings back too many bad memories for me so it gets a 4.

Lee Atwater's Rhythm and Blues Outlaws/All-Stars: 4

Somewhere during the summer of 1992, Andy and Woody returned to Portland, hooked up with Seth and I, and we played the Old Port Festival as Lee Atwater's Rhythm and Blues Outlaws/All-Stars (Band #16). I should clarify that we tried to play the OPF. We set up on the street and were promptly kicked out, so we set up on the border of the OPF and played anyway.

It was a one-off performance that looked cool though it sounded like crap (I had a small battery-powered amp tied to my waist that could only give me a distorted sound). I think we made over $20 bucks though.

Band Number: 10

SUCK-O-METER: 8

In the summer of 1988 after a year at St. Joseph's College, I transferred to USM and continued with Seth to form more bands that went nowhere. The band name came from Matt Reno's less than kind impersonation of a McDonald's manager. We practiced every once in a while, but it was a waste of time. The rest of the band did not have the gumption to play live, or were too timid to pull it off.

Band Number: 11

SUCK-O-METER: 5

From Mac's Up we come to Full Circle, pun intended. Seth wanted to be in the Rock-Off, but the rules prevented him from using me as a bass player (I was too old). He hooked up with Chandler, recorded the required demo using me anyway, and then decided not to do the Rock-Off.

The band was actually good for what it did. The songs were cheesy ballads in the '80's rock vein of say, Dream Academy or something. Lots of low level angst that high schoolers who want to be taken seriously are filled with. Chandler had a low voice and sang lyrics like, "Hey Young Crow/ Where do you go?/ When you're on your own/ Got nowhere to go" or something like that.

Band Number: 12

SUCK-O-METER: 4

In the fall of 1989, after the second reformation of The Baked Potatoes and the debacle of Mac's Up and Full Circle, I joined up with a fellow named Dan to try and form a band. Dan was just beginning out as a guitarist, and I did not have the patience to deal, but I told him that if he found other people to give me a call. Unfortunately, he did. I met a guitarist named Dennis Fournier, who begged out of the band. Seizing the opportunity, I also left, leaving Dan and a horrid drummer high and dry. Dennis,who was friends with Chris Hight, formerly of Rigamarole, suggested we continue to jam, and that led to Mot'rin.

There was good talent in this band but too many drugs. It was cool to play with these guys and I wish we would have played out more. Not in the cards, though.

Band Number:

The Penetrators: 13

The Frotus Caper: 30

SUCK-O-METER: 4

To be honest, it ought to higher than this but I have a lot of good memories of this group. Our sound wasn't great but it worked and we were tight.

The Penetrators:
When I arrived at UMF in January of 1990, after Mot'rin/Subterranean Homesick Band, I hooked up with Mark Rohman to form a raucous cover band. Mark was definitely cool about the idea. I suggested we form a band, he said "yeah, whatever." We found Dave one day while he was playing with another guitar player. After I destroyed the other player's self-esteem, I asked Dave to join. He did. Darren and Troy never played with the band, and I have no desire to provide more charts at this time. The first version of the band never played live.

In September Chad Walls joined The Penetrators. Many people were disgusted by the name's connotation, but since we were all geeks we were able to downplay it. We played a number of shows and built up a good reputation before I graduated in May. We were the first local band to play in the newly built Commons among other highlights.

The Frotus Caper:
In the fall of 1996, Chad Walls initiated a reunion of sorts. With Mark Rohman and I, we started doing demos as The Frotus Caper. Eventually, Chad decided he wanted to pay for studio time, so we went to Big Sound Studios and recorded three songs. More songs were planned, but Chad started talking like he wanted to form a band, which was not something Mark nor I wanted to do. I tried to make the second sessions but a car mishap prevented me from attending. Chad and Mark went on without me, and the Frotus Caper turned into an actual band who put out a great sounding CD called Lingo, and when I heard it I was jealous as hell. It inspired the making of the View From Left Field (see catalog).

Band Number: 16

SUCK-O-METER: 3

When The Penetrators ended, I got together with David Karl Roberts, who had been with Crazy Moonbeam, among others.

Love Cactus played many gigs, recorded a tape in November and had a blast. From the tape came 'Divebomber', my attempt at macho-pig rock (so I could make a million dollars). Bart joined in January. Unfortunately, the band split into three directions at once, the punk rock of "Divebomber", the country rock of "Lost Highway", and the funk-rock of "Power to the People", and never quite mixed them together. Bart left for California in September, and the band officially came to a halt when I went to graduate school in January.

This band had a lot of potential early on, as it was a trio with a lead bass player and the arrangements were fairly simple. Like I said above, the direction of the band got a little fuzzy when Bart joined. My ego was a bit much and I was writing a lot of alternative songs in the Nirvana/Pixies mode, but Dave was already leaning in the alt-country vein with Bart trying to do hard rock. Songs were never really rearranged to take advantage of Bart and to tell you the truth I always was next to Dave on stage and his guitar was so loud I never heard a thing that Bart was playing. I give us a 3 mainly due to my singing, our overall sound (I always thought we needed better gear), and better arrangements of songs.

Members:

SUCK-O-METER: 6

This was the only time I played live with Larry before my second solo concert in 1998 or 1999. We played the Focus song "Hocus Pocus" and a few other things I believe. We had a lot of talent and Larry is amazing guitarist but it was an open mic night in South Portland and we didn't bother to practice.

Band Number: 18

SUCK-O-METER: 6

After the Penetrators and Love Cactus I went on to the University of Maine to get my Master's Degree. I lived with my good friend Seth Warner. Seth and I were involved in two short-lived projects: Throw the Cow and the Stokyo Ting Quartet.

Seth knew Dan through the classical music program and when I mentioned wanting to form a band he suggested we hook up with Dan. We practiced occasionally but it was clear that I was the only one who wanted this to happen. Once more I tried to control a band and once more I failed! The band didn't really end, just faded into oblivion. This band would have been decent live, and I was always bummed we never pulled it together although we had no real sound equipment.

Band Number: 19

SUCK-O-METER: 5

After the Love Cactus ground to a halt, I found myself in graduate school. When I arrived at Orono, I moved in with good friend Seth Warner. Our roommate was Adam Tierney, whose father was the former Attorney General of Maine. He was also my professor for a class at USM and gave me a B- (that %$#@).

The Stokyo Ting Quartet was the result of being bored out of our skulls while living in Old Town. Winter in Orono and Old Town is a harsh, cold, boring time. Seth was borrowing a 4-track, and many weird recordings were made. The name of the band comes from a particular bizarre piece we improvised titled "Arabian Piece for Guitar and Cymbal-On-Head". Luckily, the hockey players who lived next door (among them Philadelphia Flyer Garth Snow!) and our downstairs neighbors never complained or beat us up.

So I give this a 5, although, really, how do you judge a stupid recording project? The recordings were not nearly as funny as we thought at the time except for the Tom's Toothpaste bit with an inspired British accent from Seth. Adam's chants on the Arabian piece as well his improv are first rate lunacy, however. I just got in the way.

Band Number: 20

SUCK-O-METER: 8

During the summer of 1993 while attending UMaine Orono, after Throw the Cow and the Stokyo Ting Quartet had met their end, I found myself having to find a new place to live. I met a guitarist named Todd Arvidson, a Navy veteran who spent the entirety of the summer of 1989 underwater on a submarine, and I moved in with him along with our roommate Angela. We decided to form a band, and thought to use my old friend Seth Warner as the drummer.

We sort of settled on two names. Seth was home for the summer and never practiced with us and so he was kicked out when Todd met Cody through his job at a gas station, which Todd was fired from. Anyway, after Angela moved out and after I moved out we decided on Boiling Lobster for a name. That was changed to Wheels of Confusion a little later on. Cody was kicked out after a disastrous party in Ellsworth (I think). At around that time I broke my collarbone and the band came to a halt. I recruited Seth to come back to fold and we soldiered on playing one more gig opening for Jesse Lundy's band The Memphis Soul Stew. Todd met Jeremy at this point and we practiced once but the band ended then.

I'm a little biased but wow, did we suck. We were a really bad cover band. Todd is without a doubt the loudest guitar player I have ever played with, and Cody is the only person I know who can't remember how to play a Pink Floyd song. I was forced to sing songs I had no business singing. We played the Penny Post frequently. Even with Seth in the band, we were terrible. Loyal to a fault, I should have quit this band the moment I found out Todd couldn't play any of the King Crimson or RUSH songs I wanted to play.

SUCK-O-METER: 5

During the hiatus between Confusions, Seth and I, with our friend Marc McElroy (now fronting the very good Elroy), played at an Open Mic as The Thankless Few. I dug the name, hence the inclusion of the band. For an Open Mic Night band we weren't bad, considering I was just barely out of the sling for my broken collarbone.

Band Number: 22

SUCK-O-METER: 3

Band Number: 23

SUCK-O-METER: 3

While at Orono, after the failure of Throw the Cow, the weirdness of The Stokyo Ting Quartet, the hell of Boiling Lobster/Wheels of Confusion, and the retro cool of Confidential Informant, there was only one gig left to conquer on the scene, and that was Bumstock, the big blowout party/festival that was UMO's tradition. Luckily, having run a few Open Mike Nights and having played with a number of musicians, the contacts I had earned finally paid off. Having been rejected with The Wheels of Confusion, my chance came with an idea by Jeremy Potter.

The Bumstock House Band was Jeremy Potter's brainchild. The band backed primarily Jeremy, Deidre Heaton, and Adam White for solo sets. Tracy sang during some transitions and Ben Meiklejon snuck in somehow to do an instrumental version of Helter Skelter, which was a good description of the band.

Probably I should rate this a little higher, but the fact that this even got off the ground was an amazing feat. Jeremy came up with a cool idea, got all the people involved and managed to keep things from imploding. Ed Canty gets high marks for his involvement as well. The set list was a good one and the songs came off well except for Adam White's "Thief on a Cross" and that was because of a Seth and I. How did 13 people manage to play well and stay out of each other's way?

Band Number: 24

SUCK-O-METER: 2

Band Number: 25

SUCK-O-METER: 3

While I was playing with David Karl Roberts, the Dixfield Congregational Church Band and helping out the Dirigo High School Pep Band, I started going to Open Mic Night at the Granary and eventually I become the backing bass player for MC Kirk McSheffrey, a great guitar player from Ottawa.

I played with Kirk on and off until he left in 1999 for Ottawa. The Open Mic Night was a bit relaxed (it was acoustic oriented) but there many moments of good music, particularly when someone would bring a set of drums in. There was an article in the Lewiston Sun Journal and in Egg magazine on the Open Mic Night.

Playing with Kirk was a lot of fun and we had a tight set as we got used to playing together so the 3 is really because it was informal and an open mic nite and we would take chances and fall on our faces as often as we played well.

Band Number: 26

SUCK-O-METER: 5

Band Number: 27

SUCK-O-METER: 4

Band Number: 28

SUCK-O-METER: 5